Melanie fiona- It kills me- I love this song......

This song is so beautiful........Cherish is so underrated!

OMG!!!! I've never called him baby *shock face*

Ok so today I was laying in my bed with my bestie and we were just talking and then she randomly asked “When do guys genuinely start calling their girl “baby”? When she asked this, I really had to think about it. Obviously I can’t speak for men so I had to switch it up and ask myself “When do I genuinely start calling the guy i’m seeing “baby”?

*Pause*

My girl was saying that its usually when she really likes the guy it just comes out naturally. I personally think that it comes from a level of comfort and security. You could be seeing a guy for about 2 months and although you may have kissed and so forth you may not reaalllyyy feel that level of comfort. You know? I just feel like saying stuff like “Hey baby, how was your day?” comes from really feeling like “YES! He is MY baby”. So if that’s the case......is NOT calling the guy your seeing “baby” an indication of whats going on underneath all the kisses?

This may not seem like a big deal but when I think about it, I never called Mr.Bigs “baby”. I can’t deny that I didn’t have strong feelings for him, I mean I can go as far as to say that I really four letter worded him. But I never called him “baby” like ever! This is because I never felt like it was just me......because it wasn’t. We weren’t in an official relationship sooooo I guess the term “baby” didn’t seem applicable. To be honest there would be times that I would want to say it but it just didn’t feel right.

Maybe sub-conciously I always knew what the deal was...........

So does that mean that what I thought we had wasn’t really what we had?

Could something as small as “baby” be the strongest indication of where the "relationship" stands..........?

Wait a minute..........I'm having a drake moment..

We can't go back now! UK stand up!!!

After watching "Luther" i'm completely blown away and filled with so much enthusiasm and passion. The acting in this show is amazing! Idris Elba has proved that not only can he be excellent with an american accent, he can be even more excellent in his own land. Indira Varma is breath taking and I am officially a new fan. If BBC do not renew it after the 6th episode. I will go on a rampage. I haven't been this excited for a british show since Misfits!

....On to the next one......I think :S

I woke up this morning and it felt like it was gonna be one of those days where I wanted to feel sorry for myself and say to the world EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF LOVE!! I'm riding solo for life! I started with listening to this song Christina Millian- It hurts when....



I won't front, I nearly wanted to cry, I felt like she was singing on my behalf. From the verse to the chorus and bridge I felt like she had been reading my diary. I was slowly riding into depression when it came to me......

Mr.Bigs is enjoying his life, probably doing God knows what with God Knows who and i'm here getting ready to drown in my sorrows. Why should I be the one that isn't loving life. i'm not a bad person, yes i'm dramatic but not BAD!

So I asked myself......what do you do, when the person you "love" is in lust with someone else? Yes I said "lust' i refuse to say love until I see a ring *folds arms*

Anyway....

Do you:

1. Have faith and hope that he will come back to his senses?

2. Surpress all feelings, get your head out of the clouds and keep it moving.....

3. Go on an aimless dating spree so you'll forget that he ever existed?

Neither of those answers seem applicable, i'm sure my best friends would advice me to go with 3 but then if I did, would it be fair to the guys i'm dating?

When do you make the decision to stop loving someone, is that decision really in our hands or is that something that we leave to fate?

People say that in time, things will heal but what happens if time isn't moving fast enough?

Well Shit, a chicks gotta eat...... :S

To be honest, like entirely honest, I don't really like dates, especially dinner dates. The whole awkward silences sitting opposite eachother makes me feel so uncomfortable. But in the past couple of years I've been taught a thing or two. One being, "A chicks gotta eat". At first I thought that it was just wrong, I felt like I was using the guy and leading him on. Oh how naive am I? The theory is simple........"A CHICK NEEDS TO EAT". I have learnt that most of the time when a guy asks me out on a date, he is expecting something at the end of it, which means he is basically using me anyway, not to say that he will get anything but its cool to let him think he will *confession*. Don't get me wrong i'm all down for the whole "independent woman" thing but lets be honest inbetween the paychecks funds can be low. So why not endure bad conversation and awkward silences and leave with a full stomach. I say AMEN to that!