Its never too much when you are living in the moment..

I just had the most amazing heart to heart with my girl and I can say that I have had an epiphany. We spoke about numerous things but i’m just gonna touch base with what hit me the most. I’ve realized that I when I like a guy, I pull back and don’t allow myself to realllyyyyy live in the moment. I’m always thinking to myself “Oh I can’t do too much, he might think this and that but you know what .....Eff that shit! I happen to be a cutesy person and I think that its time that I start showing it. So what if I decide that I want to make the guy I like lunch to take to work, so what if I want to plan a whole day of random stuff, so what If I decide that I wanna get him tickets to a car show because I know that he loves cars......

I feel like us ladies spend most of our time seeking out opinions from our girls and we get caught up in this whole “ Don’t do too much, he needs to wifey you first”. Whats the point? If he never “wifeys” you it means that he’ll never know what he could be missing out on...

I think its funny that somehow its okay to have sex with the guy that your seeing but it’s suddenly too much to make cupcakes and take it to his workplace or make lasagna because italian is his favorite food. Why why why is that such a bad thing?

I have learnt the hard way that when you don’t show what he could be missing out on they’ll be nothing to miss! For the past couple of weeks I have been under the slight impression that a certain woman was better than me simply because she did all these little extra stuff that I didn’t and now she’s with who I wanted. But then I realized, that woman is not better than me. In fact everything that she did was not out of my element at all. I just didn’t want to do it or shall I say that I was....maybe too scared?

Its never too much when you are living in the moment. Worst case scenario, it doesn’t work out but then why am I thinking about that on the 2nd date?

I’m not saying that the way to lock down a guy is by cooking him up a storm and taking him out. But what i’m saying is this, if your dating someone you might aswell enjoy every part of it and get the most out of it. If he makes you smile, its okay to make him smile too.

So from today I solemnly declare that I will no longer pre-meditate that me and a guy will not be official and pull back everything that I have to offer but I will go with the wind and if he makes me smile, I will also make him smile :-)

You have money....Ok and?

Now some guys have me all the way messed up because they are under the slight impression that somehow them having money makes them something to write home about. I have and never will be interested in guy JUST because he has some money in the bank. Don't get me wrong I respect the hustle and yes I admit that a guy offering to take me to Blue Elephant instead of Nandos may be more appealing at first glance......But it takes more than a few bank notes and tailored suits to win over my heart.

From a very young age I was taught that there is more to a guy than just money and ever since then I have always looked at the heart and vision. Its important to me that a guy has a clear understanding of what he wants to do with his life. When my dad met my mum he had nothing. No car, no gucci, no g-shock.. On top of not having much, whenever he did get something he would use it to buy my mum gifts because he always wanted her to look good. All he had at that time was an amazing heart and a vision and thats what my mum believed in.

Thats one of the reasons why I love my parents because they taught me that there is more to life than the glitz and glamour. So many women have married men because of how much they have and now they live very unfulfilling lives.

But lets be serious, if your boyfriend has money in his account, is it yours though? Do you have a debit card with his name on it?

Even if you do have a card, when you break up, what do YOU have?

Stop chasing guys in tailored suits and look beyond it. Our eyes could be opened to so much more if we looked beyond the flash and looked at the heart and the vision.

Get your own chickas that way him having money wouldn't be more than just extra information.....

Wait a minute..........I'm having a drake moment..

Melanie fiona- It kills me- I love this song......

This song is so beautiful........Cherish is so underrated!

OMG!!!! I've never called him baby *shock face*

Ok so today I was laying in my bed with my bestie and we were just talking and then she randomly asked “When do guys genuinely start calling their girl “baby”? When she asked this, I really had to think about it. Obviously I can’t speak for men so I had to switch it up and ask myself “When do I genuinely start calling the guy i’m seeing “baby”?

*Pause*

My girl was saying that its usually when she really likes the guy it just comes out naturally. I personally think that it comes from a level of comfort and security. You could be seeing a guy for about 2 months and although you may have kissed and so forth you may not reaalllyyy feel that level of comfort. You know? I just feel like saying stuff like “Hey baby, how was your day?” comes from really feeling like “YES! He is MY baby”. So if that’s the case......is NOT calling the guy your seeing “baby” an indication of whats going on underneath all the kisses?

This may not seem like a big deal but when I think about it, I never called Mr.Bigs “baby”. I can’t deny that I didn’t have strong feelings for him, I mean I can go as far as to say that I really four letter worded him. But I never called him “baby” like ever! This is because I never felt like it was just me......because it wasn’t. We weren’t in an official relationship sooooo I guess the term “baby” didn’t seem applicable. To be honest there would be times that I would want to say it but it just didn’t feel right.

Maybe sub-conciously I always knew what the deal was...........

So does that mean that what I thought we had wasn’t really what we had?

Could something as small as “baby” be the strongest indication of where the "relationship" stands..........?

Wait a minute..........I'm having a drake moment..

We can't go back now! UK stand up!!!

After watching "Luther" i'm completely blown away and filled with so much enthusiasm and passion. The acting in this show is amazing! Idris Elba has proved that not only can he be excellent with an american accent, he can be even more excellent in his own land. Indira Varma is breath taking and I am officially a new fan. If BBC do not renew it after the 6th episode. I will go on a rampage. I haven't been this excited for a british show since Misfits!

....On to the next one......I think :S

I woke up this morning and it felt like it was gonna be one of those days where I wanted to feel sorry for myself and say to the world EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF LOVE!! I'm riding solo for life! I started with listening to this song Christina Millian- It hurts when....



I won't front, I nearly wanted to cry, I felt like she was singing on my behalf. From the verse to the chorus and bridge I felt like she had been reading my diary. I was slowly riding into depression when it came to me......

Mr.Bigs is enjoying his life, probably doing God knows what with God Knows who and i'm here getting ready to drown in my sorrows. Why should I be the one that isn't loving life. i'm not a bad person, yes i'm dramatic but not BAD!

So I asked myself......what do you do, when the person you "love" is in lust with someone else? Yes I said "lust' i refuse to say love until I see a ring *folds arms*

Anyway....

Do you:

1. Have faith and hope that he will come back to his senses?

2. Surpress all feelings, get your head out of the clouds and keep it moving.....

3. Go on an aimless dating spree so you'll forget that he ever existed?

Neither of those answers seem applicable, i'm sure my best friends would advice me to go with 3 but then if I did, would it be fair to the guys i'm dating?

When do you make the decision to stop loving someone, is that decision really in our hands or is that something that we leave to fate?

People say that in time, things will heal but what happens if time isn't moving fast enough?