I just had the most amazing heart to heart with my girl and I can say that I have had an epiphany. We spoke about numerous things but i’m just gonna touch base with what hit me the most. I’ve realized that I when I like a guy, I pull back and don’t allow myself to realllyyyyy live in the moment. I’m always thinking to myself “Oh I can’t do too much, he might think this and that but you know what .....Eff that shit!
I happen to be a cutesy person and I think that its time that I start showing it. So what if I decide that I want to make the guy I like lunch to take to work, so what if I want to plan a whole day of random stuff, so what If I decide that I wanna get him tickets to a car show because I know that he loves cars......
I feel like us ladies spend most of our time seeking out opinions from our girls and we get caught up in this whole “ Don’t do too much, he needs to wifey you first”. Whats the point? If he never “wifeys” you it means that he’ll never know what he could be missing out on...
I think its funny that somehow its okay to have sex with the guy that your seeing but it’s suddenly too much to make cupcakes and take it to his workplace or make lasagna because italian is his favorite food. Why why why is that such a bad thing?
I have learnt the hard way that when you don’t show what he could be missing out on they’ll be nothing to miss! For the past couple of weeks I have been under the slight impression that a certain woman was better than me simply because she did all these little extra stuff that I didn’t and now she’s with who I wanted. But then I realized, that woman is not better than me. In fact everything that she did was not out of my element at all. I just didn’t want to do it or shall I say that I was....maybe too scared?
Its never too much when you are living in the moment. Worst case scenario, it doesn’t work out but then why am I thinking about that on the 2nd date?
I’m not saying that the way to lock down a guy is by cooking him up a storm and taking him out. But what i’m saying is this, if your dating someone you might aswell enjoy every part of it and get the most out of it. If he makes you smile, its okay to make him smile too.
So from today I solemnly declare that I will no longer pre-meditate that me and a guy will not be official and pull back everything that I have to offer but I will go with the wind and if he makes me smile, I will also make him smile :-)
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But then there is the flip side that from the beginning you could be wifeying him and then he does not appreciate you becuz he does not know u have a backbone. he takes you for granted thinking you will always be like that. never appreciates you or says thank you. you get so swamped in to being his wifey that you forget you are not. so when it goes bad...not only have you lost a purpose in life of being his wifey....you realise that you have lost your pride as well. you left it a long time ago and you dont even remember when. you realise you were not the person you were before him. you are different and now you are alone and confused. both sides are hard to live with, but how much is too much...when you need to find a balance?
ReplyDeleteYou made a very valid point. I personally think that it becomes too much when you feel like your being taken advantage of....Its one thing to live in the moment and another to become a doormat. I honestly feel like deep inside you will know when you suddenly feel like "Ok damn, this is too much". But not too much because your holding back but too much because you are unappreciated.....
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